Look down...

As a child, I was playing along side the baseball field in downtown Washington DC where my dad was playing ball, looking at flowers in the grass and eating a hot dog. I was probably about ten at that time. A person who appeared to be homeless, walked up to me, pointed at my hot dog and made a grunting noise. So I threw my hot dog to him and ran toward my mom only a few feet away. It scared me.

On another occasion, (when I was a bit older) I was sitting with a girlfriend outside the Broadway Cafe in Westport, sipping lattes’ in the sunshine. We were chatting about boys, laughing, and watching the people walk by. I smiled and said hello to a homeless man that was passing.  (If you know me, I smile and say hello to everyone.) But, when our eyes met, I saw the anger in him, before I felt it. He looked me in the eye and threw an orange juice can at my head. I ducked and it smashed against the coffee shop window. It was scary. 


I just looked down until he walked away.

Then there was the time I was walking back to my hotel in New York City after a business meeting, and someone was relieving himself, on the sidewalk in front of us, and smiling, gesturing at us. 


I looked down.

And finally the time, I was driving and I smiled at someone who looked homeless, crossing the street. He was angry too… and banged on the hood of my car, and cussed at me, and gestured. 


I looked down until the light turned green.

___

I thought of these things, as I walked from my car to the mission in downtown Kansas City. I stepped off the sidewalk where a number of homeless folks were resting in the shade chattering amongst themselves. They were everywhere, on the walks, on the streets, in front of the front door, in the parking lot. It was a hot day and the mission was about to open the doors, to feed them. I was there to volunteer.

“Hello.” I said quietly to the air, (but honestly I was hoping none of them heard me. )


I was looking down.


I wanted to look at them and smile, but based on my history, I was kind of afraid. Let’s face it, when you have had some less than pleasant moments with certain people, it’s not easy to forget.

So what was I doing there? I was there to walk through my fear and love and serve them.

Thanks to the Lord, I have had the amazing blessing of knowing a handful of people in my life, who once lived on the streets. I have become friends with them and even shared in some of their life journeys. My friends, for various reasons in their lives, found themselves on the streets for long periods of time, most of them lost, hopeless, stuck in the rut of the addiction cycle. Each of them lacked the ability to get off the street without the grace and power of God and the loving hands and hearts of people around them who took the time and the chance to the put down their judgments, fears and lack of understanding, and just smile at them, talk to them and love them.

I recently read a book about a couple that had the courage to do just that. It was called, “The Same Kind of Different as Me,” It is an amazing story of two people who were able to overcome personal judgments to offer real friendship, time and love to those less fortunate than themselves. And their story doesn’t stop there, because God works in amazing ways. The man who is homeless in the story helps this couple too.

____

Today, I am excited and nervous to be at the Mission. Part of me, knows that people are people no matter what their condition, and in some ways I am far more comfortable with someone down and out, than someone holier than though.

But, would they accept me today? And how could I be the most authentic to them? How would they know that I have been down and out too-- in my own ways? How could I just show them I am there to respect them and be friendly? I guess I truly hoped that these people would see my heart and not see me as someone coming there to “fix things” or “feel good.”

As I entered and was given an apron and some duties, making salads, setting tables, and pouring water, I could hear the commotion in the chapel. There was a fight and  two people were asked to leave. 


"Bunch of hungry guys," the man said in the kitchen.


His name was Mike, and he was teasing me, and telling me the lay of the land.

“And you get to sit down and eat with them too, you know.”

(Well that was new news for me.)

When dinner was ready, the first crowd came in. There were two shifts. The first shift was a crowd of about 60 men, who had enrolled in the program to develop a relationship with God, get out of their addictions and off the street. Although, they were still living on the street, they were going to 12 step programs and meeting at the Mission to surrender their lives to the Lord, and learn about how to move forward in healthy ways.

I finished serving plates, and grabbed one myself. I was the only woman in the place. I moved toward a table near the center of the room and asked politely if I could join them. They said yes. I sat down.


"Hello." 


It was a bit awkward for all of us.

(Oh man, we got the church lady at our table.) 


(I am pretty intuitive.)

So I let it be silent awhile and then said, “So what are you guys interested in... you know, like what are your hobbies?” 


They kind of looked at me funny.

And (for the record) I did realize after it came out of my mouth, that it was kind of a strange question to ask a bunch of homeless guys.

Silence.

(gulp.)


More silence.

I was trying to change the question to make it more relevant, without making it worse, but then I decided to take their lead, and just shut up. (I am intuitive remember.)

More silence.

And then the guy across from me cracked a smile.

“I like photography,” he said.

“I like to play guitar,” said another.

“I don’t have much of any,” said yet another.

One man grunted and left the table.

One man at the table didn’t answer the question, never looked up, and just kept eating his food.

“I like painting,” I said.

And for the rest of our meal we never stopped talking. Soon I knew their names, what type of photography Otto liked, what music Josh could play, how he learned to play guitar, and even Kent and the man on my left who never told me his name was talking.

Soon I had another crazy question for them.

“So what do you do in this heat?” I asked them.

“Read the Bible in the library.” One said.

“Find any place with air conditioning.” laughed another.

And then the man who was silent, just laughed out loud, still eating his food and looking down. (But he was smiling now.)

Soon they were asking me questions too. What did I paint? What were my hobbies? What was I doing there that day?

It was fun. And we sat and talked well after our plates were empty. When it was time to wrap up, I was sad our dinner was over.

"Time for the next part," one said. 


The same guys from my table, joined me to serve the crowd that was about to come in.

“Now you are in for the big surprise young lady,” one of the men told me. “You are about to encounter 100 very impatient and hungry men.”

This was an experience for me. The 100 men piled in loudly and I joined a procession of homeless (in the Mission program,) feeding the homeless (that were not in the program.) 


I was advised you could not waste any time, or serve someone out of line. There was a definite method to this. And it was remarkable. There were about 20 of us, moving food out of the kitchen to them as fast as possible.

And they were right. Those guys were hungry.

At one point, I was asked to hand out ice cream, which was in small containers in a big box, and that was tough. Many of the men would claim (right after I handed them one) that they didn’t get one. But, many of the men were very kind, and told me I was doing a good job and thanked me. Like anything, there was a mix of people there, some looked high or drunk, and others seemed completely sober and couldn’t be more polite or kind to me.

At the end of the meal, we prayed together to thank God for the opportunity to serve the Lord and reach out to others around us.

By now the room was empty. 


I took off my apron, said goodbye to Mike, and headed out to my car, a group of guys were sitting at a table chattering and smoking cigarettes. (Many of them, recipients of the awkward hobby question.)

As I walked by, they waived immediately with smiles, and yelled, “Goodbye Pam!”


"Goodbye," I smiled and waived.

Do you know how wonderful it was to be accepted by them? 


(I can’t wait to get back there.)

We all have our obstacles, our crossroads, our roadblocks and our seasons of hardship-- and in turn, we all have the ability to reach others in their seasons of hardship. 


We all want to be loved and accepted in life, and we all have the ability to love and accept one another. 


We all want to be respected and considered by others, and we can respect and consider others.


We all have the love of our Lord and the ability to love one another in His name.


Let's do that.

Join us for our next trip to the KC Rescue Mission, December 9, 2011. 5:30-7:00pm. It’s an amazing experience. 

No Need to Debate

I feel sorry for those who think they need to bring people to God through fear tactics, and judgment calls. In my experience, that doesn't work and often scares others far away from the church, sometimes for life. It may get someone to say the right thing, or be at church at a certain time, and even scare someone into changing a habit or a way for short "shallow" stint- but it won't be humanly sustainable for them on their own, long term. You don’t “will” your way into being a Christian by following rules and pointing at people to do certain things-- to get to Him.

In my experience, it is almost always, the gift of grace and love from Him--- and the magnitude and awesome realization of that depth of love, that starts the authentic journey of truly knowing Him. We can all walk a walk for a time, but being moved at a level so deep we can’t explain it, so "awed and amazed at His undeserving, unconceivable depth of love and grace in our own life” that changes us. It transforms our  view of  life, forever. That change, is what prepares us and makes us ready to truly know Him. It knocks out everything we were ever taught about the human view of the human condition, and it takes us to our knees and humbles us into a new being, literally. That kind of love and grace is something we humans can’t comprehend until it happens to us. It also becomes the birth, of that "fire in our bellies" to want to share Him- and His kind of grace and love, with others. But, we have to be able to put our human righteous thoughts, our self reliant will and our selfish, insecure judgments down, long enough to truly listen and start to know Him. If we want to be in a relationship with Him, we have to make room for Him inside us, to reform us, and teach us in our heart and souls, what it means to love others, His way. That means we need to get out of the way.

Someone once told me… “Take the cotton out of your ears, and put it in your mouth for awhile." It made me mad, but it was the best advice ever. I stopped talking--and started listening. I asked Him for a "real time" relationship with Him. I stopped pointing  at everyone else, and trying so hard to win His acceptance - and guess what happened? He took a sinning undeserving me, and He graced me and forgave me, and showed me, just exactly who He is. I will never be the same, ever.

I know... that once you know Him. You know Him. (And it's sad, but it becomes so VERY evident who in this world "claim to know Him," but they do not know Him. That is not a judgment-- but a simple fact, because those that know Him, know His kind of love.)

Once you know Him. There is no need to debate the rules, or judge who is good or bad, or which sin is the biggest and baddest. Because you have experienced free access to Him and to the life changing power of His undeserved grace that He offers everyday--to each of us. Once you know Him, you will know nothing else... but His unbelievable depth of love. And you will not see the world, or the people in it, with the same eyes of your past. You will see it from a new view, with a view from His eyes.

In my own life, I have decided there is no need for heated debate with righteous "religious judgers" who claim to know, who is in and who is out, rating sins, or pointing out how someone else should live or who is going to heaven or hell. When I run into someone like that, I go home immediately and I pray for them- I get on my knees with my head to the ground as low as I can go... and I pray hard to Him, my Father, whom I know. I know, that no matter how mad that person makes me from a human standpoint,  that He loves them--He knows they do not know what they are doing (harming His message) and that despite how much I want to not like that self righteous person... He loves them... same as He loves me. And He wants to have that deep authentic relationship with them too, and bring them home. So I pray He bring them home- to truly know Him.

"Help them put down their weapons, their fears, their rules and regulations, and listen for your graceful voice Lord, so they can truly know YOU, and there will be no more need for debate, once they see YOU and know YOU. There will be no more debate about who you are and how you love with unbelievable depths of grace and love. There will be absolutely... no reason for debate. They will know YOU."




Posted by Pamela Martin

Adam and Eve

It was loud. Very loud. So I come upstairs to find two children in the hallway looking VERY guilty. Every upstairs door was closed and locked. (This is a favorite of my children if given the opportunity, and something I have asked them not to do in the past...by the way.) There is a roll of robot themed wrapping paper on the floor between them. I look up on top of the doorframe where the key normally sits. And the key is not there. I look at them with (that mom look.)

Lincoln says... "Lia made my arm do it."

Lia pauses for a moment. Then looks down at the roll of robot wrap. (She is 3 years old!)

"Well, actually, the robot stick did it, mom."

Adam and Eve baby. And we don't really ever change do we?



Posted by Pamela Martin

Fashion for the Soul

Two of my favorite things: 1-Fashionable Clothes, and 2—Reality TV shows. The show “Project Runway” brings these two loves of mine together for 60 minutes of pure entertainment… I love it. If you have never seen the show; it is a reality show documenting a competition amongst future-fashion-designer hopefuls. Every week they have a new challenging assignment to create something “Chic” with little time and little budget, and sometimes little supplies. At the end each episode the creations are modeled down a runway in a fashion show of sorts and are judged by famous fashionable celebrity judges… and the worst outfit’s designer goes home.

Last night the challenge was to design a look for Nina Garcia, the fashion editor of Marie Claire magazine and Project Runway’s “Simon Cowell” of judges, to wear to an upcoming photo shoot. The guest judge was Marie Claire’s editor and chief (and Nina’s boss,) Joanna Coles. After watching the fashions sashay down the runway the judges got together to discuss their favorites and their most hated. Joanna Coles’ remarks were the best; she said,“Clothes are emotional. When you put them on, they make you feel something and they make other people feel something when they see you in them.” About the look she disliked she said, “Are you depressed?” and when she discussed her favorite outfit she said, “That shirt would make you feel like a million bucks, you would have a wonderful day when you wore that top and exciting things would happen to you!”

I giggled a little when I thought about the idea of having a magical type of day just by choosing to wear a beautiful, flattering, fabulous blouse. But as I thought a bit more about it I thought, it was kind of true-- good clothes make you feel good, when you feel good, you have a good day.

So, if the way we are clothing our bodies can effect how we feel, how much more important then is the way we are clothing our spirits? In Ephesians 6, the Bible tells us to “Put on the full armor of God.”

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. 12 For our struggle is not against [e]flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. 14 Stand firm therefore, HAVING GIRDED YOUR LOINS WITH TRUTH, and HAVING PUT ON THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, 15 and having shod YOUR FEET WITH THE PREPARATION OF THE GOSPEL OF PEACE; 16[f]in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Could you imagine how amazing your day could be if you woke in the morning and clothed your spirit with characteristics like truth, righteousness, and peace? You would definitely be living the “fabulous” life! Looking good, and feeling good go hand in hand, so treat yourself well, body and spirit.




Posted by Devyn Lundy

Critics Are Everywhere

Written by Zig Ziglar

 posted by Kori Carew

There’s an old saying – and I believe it’s true – “Nobody has ever erected a statue to a critic.”  Davy Crockett had a simple motto which said, “Make sure you’re right – then go ahead.”  The reality is, all of us have faced our own moments (sometimes much longer than that) of criticism.  No matter what your career or occupation, the more successful you become, the more criticism you are likely to receive.  Some of that criticism is based on jealousy; some will come from those who don’t understand your objectives, and some from those who make a habit of finding fault like there was a reward for it.  Actually, only those who don’t attempt anything will remain above criticism.

Frederick the Great said, “I go through my appointed daily rounds, and I care not for the curs who bark at me along the road.”  Being criticized is not a problem if you develop a positive way to deal with it.  Winston Churchill framed on the wall of his office the following words of Abe Lincoln: “I do the very best I can; I mean to keep going.  If the end brings me out all right, then what is said against me won’t matter.  If I’m wrong, ten angels swearing I was right won’t make a difference.”

That was good strategy and good advice for Churchill to follow because he received much criticism in his lifetime.  Abe Lincoln was roundly criticized in his day, just as many of our public figures are today.  It takes a person of great courage to forge ahead and do what he honestly believes to be right when critics are howling against him.  The person with conviction, the one as Davy Crockett said “who knows he’s right,” will simply go ahead.

I encourage you to follow that advice.  Go ahead with the projects you believe in if they are morally and ethically sound and you believe in them enough to pursue them with determination. Take that approach and I really will SEE YOU AT THE TOP!

Goodnight toes.

Last night I tucked my three year old in bed, sang her a song, and kissed her forehead, and I did a silly little bedtime thing I used to do with my six year old, when he was about her age. I said goodnight to each of her little parts, starting with her head. I said goodnight to her eyes, her eyelashes, her nose, her ears, and her toes. I said it sweetly with her name and I called out the special part of her, “goodnight Lia’s hair,” “goodnight Lia’s eyebrow,” “goodnight Lia’s other eyebrow,” and so on. Each time I said goodnight to a part of my beautiful little girl, I gently brushed my finger across it. “Goodnight Lia’s mouth,” “goodnight Lia’s teeth” (that one always brings a giggle, as she clamps her mouth shut with laughter.) “goodnight Lia’s nose.” She loved it. Both of my kids love it. As soon as my son heard us doing this last night, he called out from the next room. “Do it to me too… Mom!”

I love it too. A moment between my child and I, to show them how much I love them, and just thank God for every part of these wonderful little blessings in my life. What easier way to show my children that every single part of them is wonderfully made, and special? It’s so fun. 

(It’s particularly fun to get to those little toes.) 

“Goodnight Lia’s toes.”

“Kiss my toes mommy! I dare you,” she giggled.

(Yikes… we skipped baths tonight, but okay.. here it goes… goodnight cute little stinky toes…)

kiss. kiss.

After climbing in my own bed last night, I thought about that little routine and just marveled at how much my children love it. I thought about how much love is passed from parent to child and child to parent, in that little exchange. And how I should remember to pause- and do that each night.

Then I thought about God. I thought about how much he loves me, and how I am His little child. And I imagined Him right there in my room, tucking me in, saying goodnight to me, and blessing each of my little parts, one at a time.

I closed my eyes, and let Him bless each part of me.

I started the same way I do with my kids… on my forehead. I could feel the warmth of His presence in my heart, as I let Him bless my head, my hair, my brain, my eye, my other eye…

And, since I am a bit bigger than my children (and perhaps full of a few more self imposed complexities,) I turned this little bedtime routine into a back and forth exchange with Him. As He blessed me, I offered Him a prayer, and asked for guidance as he touched each little part of me… “goodnight Pam’s eyes” (Lord, help me to see you more clearly) “goodnight Pam’s mouth” (guide my words, and help me to speak in honor of You, Lord.) ‘goodnight Pam’s heart” (Lord cleanse my soul, give me a pure heart, and let my heart reach other peoples’ hearts in your name.) etc…

And in a few areas, I asked for His healing. (Heal that part Lord. It hurts. Help me.)

Or I thanked Him… (Thank you Lord for my health, for that moment, for that part.)

Or forgiveness... (I am sorry Lord.)

I can’t tell you how wonderful it was to feel His tender love, touching and knowing every single part of me.

Lord, help me remember that you are my Daddy and that you love me and that you tuck me in each night, and that you are with me, everyday, all the time... for every piece and part of me. You made me just the way I am, and I am wonderfully made, just the way I should be.

Let Him tuck you in tonight.

Psalm 139: 14

NIV

(14) I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Matthew 10: 29-31

NIV

(29) Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. (30) And even the hairs of your head are all numbered. (31) So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.


Posted by Pamela Martin

Love beyond the heart's desire

I had a rough childhood.  I lived in a small dark house. Black-out shades prevented the sunshine's warmth to enter and lighten the dark brown paneling.  My mother was extremely depressed and sometimes suicidal, my brother was scary and violent and addicted to meth. My dad, although not in the home, verbally abused me and did not want me.
  As a young girl, I had tremendous weight on my shoulders, and pain in my heart, I also had an unwillingness to accept that this life I was living would define me.   I was a good kid.  I was teacher's pet all through school, I earned the best grades.  And at the age of  14, God reached out to me, and let me know that HE absolutely loved me, that I was beautiful, and that despite my circumstances I could rest assured that He was taking care of me.
  My teen years were easier for me as I clung to God and his love for me, but my situation at home was still dark.  My brother was dealing drugs from his basement bedroom, and random sketchy men would enter and exit my house through all hours of the night.  My mom was often working and not home, and although she must have been just and unhappy with the circumstances as I was she chose to ignore it and hope it would get better on its own.  One day, when I was about 15, absolute chaos erupted, and I witnessed  my brother in an violent meth-hazed rage throw my mom down all thirteen steep, wooden stairs that lead to our concrete basement floor. Terrified. I ran to the safest place in the house, the downstairs bathroom, it had a strong door and a good lock. I locked myself in, and pushed the large towel armoire against the door for extra security.  As I hid in that room, I could hear my mom screaming in pain for help.  I felt ashamed that I was too scared to run to her rescue, as I sit hugging my knees in the corner of the bathroom, waiting for my brother to leave.
  As I write this, I do not want your pity.  In the past, I have minimized  the dark parts of where I came from, I didn't want to hurt the feelings of the people involved because I love them, and I didn't want to play the part of a victim.  And although in some aspects, I was absolutely victimized I was not a victim, I was a survivor.  God made me to be a survivor, and God made me to have a hope for a future, because He had a plan for my future.
  When I first started loving God, one bible verse, one PROMISE, I always found comfort in was Psalm 37:3-5  :
³ Trust in the LORD and do good;
   dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
⁴ Take delight in the LORD,
   and he will give you the desires of your heart.
 ⁵ Commit your way to the LORD;
   trust in him and he will do this:

The desires of my heart were to be loved, to feel safe, to be a part of a functioning, loving, family, to have a home filled with light.   Today I absolutely have those things.  I have a husband that cherishes me, and two amazing, beautiful children who, although they fight like cats and dogs sometimes, love eachother and a house that is mine with the sun shining through its windows.  God absolutely gave me the desires of my heart, I always trusted that He would.

If you are going through a dark time in your life, know that GOD LOVES YOU!  Rest in His love and His promises, "Take delight in Him and he will give you the desires of your heart."   You can make it to the other side!

posted by Devyn Lundy

It's Like Riding a Bike!

I was getting a sandwich and a glass of water for myself, while my husband and kids were playing outside, it was 7pm and I was going to enjoy a quiet house and some mommy-veg time.  As I went to turn on the tv, I glanced out the window at my family and see my almost-8-year-old daughter zooming down the cul-de-sac on her training wheel free bike with the biggest smile stretched across her face. It was her first time riding on two wheels!

Sandwich in hand, I ran out my front door, yelling, "Go Shaylee!!! Go Shaylee!" My husband and I have been trying to teach her how to ride for the past 2 years. Shaylee would freak her self out before she would even pedal for a whole rotation and exclaim she "couldn't do it" and would give up. But now..  She had finally learned how to ride!!!  I asked Geoff, " What did you teach her to finally make her get it?"  He said, "Nothing, its like she finally decided that she  wanted to do it, and she just got on it, wobbled a little and then took off!"  We were so proud of her.

After Shaylee called all her grandmas to tell them her big accomplishment, and the kids were at last in bed,  Geoff and I  were still talking about Shaylee's triumph. I said, "Its amazing to me, that she just decided she wanted to do it, and then did it! I get so frustrated with her sometimes, because I KNOW she could do so many things that she thinks she can't do if she just did it. She is so more able than she knows."   The second those words came out of my mouth, I heard God whisper to my soul, " THAT IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU!"  Wow! And surprise, surprise, He is right.

My daughter has been afraid of falling off her bike, and that fear prevented her from even trying.  I never realized it, but I do the same thing in so many different ways in my own life.  I get ideas of things I could do, make, or write and then I over rationalize them in my head, and always lead  myself to the conclusion, that it would be a waste of time to even start or try.   How frustrated God must be when He knows that He made me special, and gave me talents and gifts that I don't use because of my own fears of failure and rejection.  Just like Shaylee, I tell myself, "I can't" before I even pedal a complete rotation.   He's frustrated not because I am failing Him, but because I am not experiencing the freedom and exhilaration  of zooming down the street on two wheels  that He wants me to enjoy so badly.. (the same feelings I had with my own daughter!)

I truly believe that God doesn't give us gifts for His pleasure but for ours. When we give our own child  gifts.. aren't we giving the gift to make  him or her happy?  When we don't use the gifts God gives us, we are missing out on the joy God wants for our lives.  I don't know about you, but I certainly want to tap into all the joy God has to give me. I don't want my fears and over rationalizations to hold me back anymore.  I am ready to start taking off my training wheels, are you?


Posted by Devyn Lundy